Remember when......

This is a picture of all 3 of my moms kids (my dad has one more). Selena is the pretty one with long hair. In this picture she looks just like Brie. I am the one with the ugly shirt on, the big ears and goofy smile. Maddie is the little baby. This was after she was born and my parents put this picture in the paper to announce the arrival of daughter number 3. I was 9, Selena 13. Selena looks like she might want to choke Madalyn, and believe me there were times growing up that we really did want to choke her.

She is still our little Maddie. She will graduate from high school on May 30th, as Salutatorian, and we couldn't be more proud. She will be attending UNT in Denton this fall. If I'm not mistaking she should be starting as a sophomore, almost junior standing because of all the college courses she took her junior and senior year of high school. Here is her Senior picture.

Helping others

This weekend I worked with a Pharmacist I have not worked with before. His name was Imeine (I was with him for 8 hours and never did figure out how to say it). He wore a hat, that turned out to be because he was and African chief from Nigeria. He was a nice man. I found out that he runs on the 3rd Saturday (maybe it was all weekend I don't remember) a free clinic in Paris. There are tons of volunteers that come and help out. They have Doctors and Nurses and such to help the poor. I thought it was such a great Idea and told him that I would like to come and volunteer. He said that they only allow Christians to work there. He said that they do not throw Jesus on the people that come to the clinic but that while they are in the waiting room there are people that come and talk to them about being saved.

I was so excited until that. I just want to help people. Which I guess in a way the whole religion thing is help also. He asked me if I was a Christian and I of course said yes, then he asked me what church I went to. I told him The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and waited for the words.."You are not Christian." He didn't say it he said do you go to church on Saturday, I said no Sunday. He said Oh I always get that church mixed up with the one that goes to church on Saturday. Nothing else was really said about the clinic after that. I don't know if it was me just not keen on preaching while attempting to help the poor, or him not liking my faith.

I did tell him I feel that it does not really matter what church you go to. The only thing that matters is that you are happy and that you love Jesus. That really is how I feel. I am very happy with my church I feel that it is true and is the best thing for me. Others may feel different and that is fine, I just want to have faith in God and do good things and I think we will all be ok in the end.

Ok so that was my little sermon. ha! I still want to help out at the clinic. Oh and one of the other Pharmacists that I work with also works for what use to be called FEMA but has a different name and said the team he is on is looking for Pharmacy Techs so I looked online found a team and emailed a lady to see about joining. Basically I just have my regular job, life, until a disaster then I go with my team to help. It sounds so fun!

I don't want to take meds.

I made a post earlier today about something that I saw at work this weekend. Well I just thought of a few other things. There is this medicine called Coricidin It is available over the counter, we have ours behind the counter because it gets stolen. It is for people with high blood pressure for colds and such. They can not take the other stuff cause it is not safe. Most pharmacist recommended it but my favorite pharmacist says it is a waste of money and that they should just take some other drug cause that's what it is just with a different name.

Anyway, This large lady comes in to buy some and I realize then while I'm taking her $5.49, That I do not want to have high blood pressure, I do not want to have to take medicine for it. I do not want to be restricted to only taking a certain type of cold medicine because of interactions.

I need to change.........my unhealthy ways now.

Oh and today when I took Jana to physical therapy and had plenty of thinking time in the waiting room once the lady with her 4 loud but very cute and funny kids left, I came to the conclusion that by some sort of LUCK, I am a healthy person. I have good blood test. No real illnesses to be concerned with. Why risk it. I need to change my ways now so that I can stay healthy. I have started doing better and have been for about 2 months or so but I just kinda fall of the wagon every now and then.

When things like this happen it just makes me want to be that much better.

Oh and the reason people still Coricidin is because drug heads will take handfuls at a time and sit back and hallucinate or something like that. The pills look like Skittles so it is called Skittleing.

Was it really worth $350.00???

This weekend I was working at the Pharmacy as usual. A girl walks up and says "I need to drop off this prescription, and here is his insurance card." I look him up we have all the information. I tell her it will be about 15-20mins. I type in the prescription.............It is from the ER. The first drug was Valtrex which is a pill for herpes outbreaks (it is also used for fever blisters, but the directions usually allow you to know which it is being used for.) He had to take 1 tablet 3 times a day...(HERPES, it is). The next one was for Zovirax ointment. The directions...Apply 4 times a day to affected scrotal area....(HERPES, it is).

After filling the prescriptions I inform the possible girlfriend that the 2 prescriptions equal to about $350.00, ON INSURANCE. She says she KNOWS she can get the cream cheaper at Wal-mart. She takes the prescriptions back and goes to wal-mart. Then calls and says can you just go ahead and fill them he is going to get the money from his mom.

They come back, we fill the prescriptions, they pay $350.00.

I wanted to so badly ask the guy..."Was it worth it." Ha!

It is so frustrating being a single person cause after this I almost have no desire to date at all.

What I really wanted to ask was "Who gave it to who?"

It is pretty fun working in the pharmacy, I'm just glad I don't know most of the people that come in, and that I have a HUGE bottle of hand sanitizer next to me at all times!

Today is my Birthday hey hey

I had lots of phone calls, text, and myspace comments today. I have felt so loved! I saved all my messages throughout the day so I can go back and listen to them cause they were so sweet. I woke up this morning and looked at my phone and my job had been calling all morning. I called them back and they needed me to come in earlier so I did cause I was going to also get off earlier! :)

Tesha, Debbie, and Shelby had a basket of goodies delivered to me at work and it had a balloon on it. It was very nice an sweet. AND tempting. It had Dr. Pepper, lots of candy! It had these fruit snacks that I shared tonight with Addi. They were so yummy when I started sharing with Addi I tried to eat faster than her because they were so good and I didn't want to share, but she was doing the same thing. We were both just sitting there shoveling these yummy fruit snacks in our mouths as fast as we could so the other didn't get as many.

My Pharmacist bought my lunch today. I ate some soup and a salad from Chili's. After work I came home and took about a 30 min nap then got dressed and went to an event at Shelby's school she was inducted into the National Junior Honor Society. It was a very quick event then I came home and put on some PJ's. I talked on the phone to my best friend and then fell asleep. Tesha and Debbie took Shelby to dinner to celebrate her achievement. They brought me home some nachos. When they got here I was passed out but then Scotty came in and started talking to me. I got up and ate then watched a little TV. Shelby had me quiz her for a test she has tomorrow.

That is how I have spent my 27th birthday. Oh my allergies have been really really bothering me. I actually threw up at work today because of them it was pretty gross and painful. I looked in the mirror after and oh my I looked like I had been crying really REALLY bad. Mascara was running down my face. It was insane.

Oh Mom cut out my horoscope that was in the paper that was for the next year. It sounds real promising, almost as it 27 will be the best year yet.

"This year you deal with problems differently than in the past. Creativity
is the biggest product of your imagination. You start seeing more
possibilities and enjoying your life more. Black-and-White thinking no
longer suits you in any form. Loosen up and relax. As you open up,
possibilities stream through your life. If you are single, you will have
to come up with a good excuse to stay that way. You will have many
potential sweeties. If you are attached, your relationship warms up and
a new found connection evolves. For those at the right age, a new
addition is possible. VIRGO always adds fun. "

Doesn't that just sound fun!

P.S. I tried to fix the whole spacing problem but couldn't sorry!

My birthday dinner

Since I was at my moms and my birthday is tomorrow....well actually today because it is already 1;30am. We went to dinner to celebrate. Here are some pictures.

Well this one is right after I got my hair cut and it looked really good except the fact that the wind blew it. My boobs are incredibly to big. If you would like to donate a few hundred dollars to my breast reduction fund that would be great!

This is me and Maddi...who happens to be graduating salutatorian. Yes she is VERY VERY smart.

This is me and mommy.

Here is Alex he really wanted a picture drinking his root beer. Mom has a better one on her camera she actually caught the root beer spilling down his chin.

Brie is complaining about something the menu I think.

Aleigh ordered a Cowboy Burger and ate just about all of it we were very surprised!

I didn't get pictures of Selena and David cause they were on the other side of the table and I guess I didn't think of it. I wanted a picture of all of us before we left but the kids had already ran to the car.

Family Fun

Since Sunday was Mother's Day I went to my moms and made dinner for my sister and my mom. Well actually we ate over at Selena's. Her kids were going to help me, but.....Alex had fever, Brie said it was to hard. Aleigh said she didn't know how to set the table, but then she did decided that she wanted to use the tea set my sister had sitting on the buffet in the dining room. We didn't have enough cups so her mom got what she called the "special cup" really it was just the creamer. :) Here is a video of her drinking out of her special cup. Also brie steps in with one of her silly faces.

I have started carrying my cameras around with me in my purse so I can always get some good pictures so I took a bunch this weekend.

Long story but my sister came into a bunch of stuff and was showing me a box of hats that she got and we were trying them on and acting silly. Then Alex put them all on!

We also found this wig and we all put it on and made silly faces......even GRANDMA!

My mothers day dinner, I'm such a chef.......lets just say I will not be getting a man through his stomach :)

The very Yummy meal!

Where the Yummy Meal came from. :) Boxes and Bags....that's how I roll! :)

My sweet Aleigh after setting the table with the tea set.....She was very proud.

We are eating dinner when I look over at Alex who is playing air guitar and not at all paying attention to us. That's when I broke out the camera.

My sisters new dog Winston is he not the cutest little thing. He weighs about 2 pounds. We think he looks like a gremlin, she was going to name him Gizmo. I think she should have, but she says since he is registered he needs a real name. :( I really want a dog like this now. I want a girl so I can put pink bows in her hair.

Happy Mother's Day

This day always feels me with several emotions. Here they are in no particular order.
1. I usually feel sad for myself and the fact that I'm not a mother and am no closer this year to becoming one than I was the year before or the year before or the year before that.
2. I am extremely happy and grateful for the wonderful, strong and humble mother I have been blessed with.
3. I feel sad for my mother because I feel she deserves so much more than the has been given. I guess I feel selfish for her a little.
4. I feel embarrassed that I am not a better child, I regret every negative thing I have done or said to her. I feel remorse for the time as a child I wrote I hate mom on the closet door frame, and for anytime I said it.
5. I feel grateful for all the other mothers that I claim as my own.
6. I feel grateful for the friends and family that I have that are also mothers and obviously great examples to me for when I do finally get the joy of being a mother.

I think as a tribute to mothers day I will list some well lets do 26 things about my mother since that's how long she has been mine.
1. She kept a journal when she was pregnant with me and for the first while of my life. She will not let me read it says I have to wait, but I'm pretty sure Selena has gotten hers. Maybe when I have kids.
2. She likes peanut butter on a piece of bread with a glass of milk for a snack at night.
3. She lost her mother when she was my age. It makes me sad cause I know I would not be able to be as strong as she was If it happened to me.
4. She had her last child at 36
5. She graduated from a Dallas school I always get the name wrong H.Grady spruce I think. She was 3rd in her class.
6. She LOVES the fact that she lives in Texas.
7. She wishes the South would have won. (not for slavery, other reasons)
8. When the song battle hymn of the republic is sung at church she sings Dixie.
9. My mom Loves the Lord and has much faith.
10. She is very creative and a great teacher (I think she should have been one)
11. She doesn't use or turn the computer on when it is raining. That drove me nuts when I lived at home, but now I'm the same way.
12. She graduated from TVCC after being a single mom to 3 kids and working full-time.
13. She hates yard work, I do too.
14. She LOVES to do genealogy and has met lots of relatives she didn't know she had.
15. She went to school with my dad they met in home economics I think but it wasn't till after high school that they went on a date.
16.When she buys new things and they have plastic on them she never takes it off. It has to wear its self off. We had a lamp that had plastic on it for about 5+ years. I think the lamp quit working and still had plastic on it
17. She bites her nails but nobody has ever seen her bite them, not even herself. I guess she does it in her sleep.
18. She has never done drugs.....that I know of.
19. She stole a spoon from the place they had prom and felt guilty about it and went back years later to return it and they were closed.
20. My mom is a pat rat. She keeps EVERYTHING.
21. She has a doll named Tammy she is like a barbie doll but much cooler. Selena and I ALWAYS wanted to play with Tammy but we were not allowed to but a few special occasions. However, Madalyn always got to play with her.
22. She lets us make our own choices. She just kinda hints at what the right ones are. If we make mistakes she lovingly tells us to use better judgement.
23. She grunts as she falls asleep.
24. Her favorite movie is North and South, that is where Madalyn's name came from.
25. Her house always, never runs out of toilet paper or trash bags. :)
26. She loves, unconditionally loves me, and is a great example to me everyday!

Happy Mother's Day, mom. I love you.

I'm so pissed!

I find it really unfair the way the government works. I think that is just wonderful that they have decided to give out the "free money." The way I understand it each individual could get the max of $600 then $300 for each kid. I being a single person with no child I was expecting $600.

First I'm going to take you back to a time when I decided that I was going to better myself and get an education so that WHEN I had children I would be able to take care of them and not struggle. I applied for grants and was turned down because I "made to much money." I made possibly $20k that year. I would hardly say that was "to much." I was currently happily living on my own. Having to pay rent, car payment, insurance, and of course the utility bills and try to support my single life meaning, feed myself, and entertain myself. Which didn't consist of much seeing how I was left with NO MONEY after paying my bills.

That rant was to explain why I had no other choice to now live with family in order to complete my education. I'm not saying that I would like the government to support me but it would be nice if I could get a little help since I have waited to have children and am trying to better myself. I come from a low income family so they can't really help me even if they want.

I have no medical insurance leaving me with large bills. Until last semester I received no money for school other than the loans I have had to take out. I only received a small amount of grant money this last semester and that is only because I had made $10k less last year because I had to take a pay cut so that I could go to school which then left me living with my family and feeling low.

I get so frustrated when I see people who come thru the pharmacy with medicaid and get mad when their $10.99 medicine is not covered, but they drive a nicer car than me.

Ok so why I'm pissed because for WEEKS I was looking forward to getting $600 that I had not expected. I originally was going to use it to pay off the medical bills that have been coming in for a year now that I have put off. Then I read an article about how the government wanted us to foolishly spend the money so that the economy would be boosted. I couldn't bring myself to foolishly spend $600. However I did talk my self into splitting it and spend $300 towards the bills and then $300 just for me. I wanted a Nintendo DS cause I have been wanting for a really long time and this looked like a great opportunity. I found on the walmart website a pink one and it came with the battery and a game and a few other things including a princess peach tin lunch box. I REALLY wanted that lunch box. Then what was left out of my $300 to spend I could buy me some new clothes cause I don't know why but I have nothing to wear. I just checked my bank account and my money had been deposited but I only got $300. Why??? I don't know I guess I didn't qualify for the $600 because "I make to much money for one person." Sad thing is I don't even make enough to pay my bills and have to use my loan money to help me out. Wanna know what else is sad, I got $1,200 back on my tax refund and it has all be spent and do you know what I have to show for it.......nothing but it was not frivolously spent either it was simply there so I could live.

I'm in school so I can better my life and make more money, but sad thing is I'm going to be in so much debt when I get out of school from school loans that the increase in pay will only help to pay for the loans.

Today is one of the days that makes me wonder why I even try.

Why I'm not a stay at home mom...

Today I had the day off from school and work. Scotty was working and Addi went to the babysitters. I wanted to spend the day with her cause I have been so busy with school I have missed her.

I went to the doctor this morning then I picked her up from the babysitters and we came home and ate lunch then I read her a story and put her to bed for a nap. While she was sleeping I was going to catch up on the cleaning that has slipped by because of finals week. Instead I watched some TV that had piled up. I just love DVR.

I baked some cookies for Shelby and her friend that was coming home from school it was just a few. What was left in the fridge. Addi woke up and well we ate the cookies. UH-OH! I picked the girls up from school when the immediately wanted to go somewhere when I just wanted to come home. We went to the store to pick up somethings we needed. We got back in the car and got to listen to Addi whine because she didn't want to be in the car seat. I said the famous word "If you don't stop that screaming I will give you something to scream about." We got home now I need to start dinner and have no desire to.

I can not be a stay at home mom because I feel like I have done nothing today but I'm exhausted and still have a messy house. :(

Kids really are funny

My friend Kristi has the cutest kids. Her son always seems to say something to make me laugh. On Monday I went to visit before my class in McKinney we went to Elfenix to celebrate Cinco De Mayo.

On my last visit I asked Chandler and Kennedy if I could take their new baby brother Will home with me since I didn't have any kids. Chandler told me no that I needed to pray for my own babies. I told him maybe I needed a husband first. He then told me I needed to marry a handsome and rich man that wore a cowboy hat.

On Monday I again asked if I could take Will home. Chandler quickly said no, I told you you need to marry a handsome rich man. I asked him if he would be on the lookout for me one. Of course he said yes.

When we were leaving Elfenix, I was paying my ticket when Chandler comes up to me and puts his hand by his mouth and whispers "Amber you should marry him" pointing to a worker that couldn't have been barely over 18. I smiled and said no. He says "no really you should" we get outside and I said "Kristi did you hear what he just said" when Chandler goes "Amber you should have talked to him he smelled really good."

It is good to know that Chandler is on the lookout!

Another one bites the dust

I'm happy to say that I now have one more semester under my belt. I took my last final today and I think I did pretty well. I have a group presentation to present on Thursday and I'm pretty confident we will do well.

I will take a May mini starting May 12th and ending on May 27th. Don't expect to see or hear from me during that time. I will be tied down. I'm nearing the end of my schooling and it is so exciting! I'm ready to be done but not really sure that this will be the complete end. I have been tossing around the idea of finishing my masters which is something that I wanted to do in the beginning. I have also contemplated the idea of pharmacy school. I LOVE my job as a tech I just don't know that I can handle the chemistry that goes along with it. I think I'm just going to finish my BA and get a job then I can start thinking of the others. I need to take one step at a time.

The truth...Makes me happy

I have been for a very long time working towards an ultimate goal of happiness. Yes, that is what I want. I want every day, every choice, everything to make me happy. I think it is a reasonable thing to expect. I know there will be sad things there will be bumps, but I want to be a truly HAPPY person. I want to be able to look at EVERYONE and say that I'm happy with the way my life is. My new years resolution was to change the things that I do not love. I did well with that. slowly more things are changing. I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

After some thought, brainstorming and even small conversations with people I know I have become HAPPY with my current relationship status. "I am a single white female." And I am very happy with that. I have realised that I could be the opposite but there is a reason that I'm not.....I am picky, or as someone else said...I have high standards. I am not looking for a casual fling, or for anybody. I'm looking for someone to grow old with and have babies with and share my life with. I have faith that someday I will find that, I will not settle for anybody just to have somebody.

While I continue to struggle with school, job, money, health, and other things that are affecting my happiness I feel great knowing that this one is off the list.

Someone made the comment to me that I better stop being so picky if I want to have kids before my eggs dry up. I will not settle for second best.

Just some pictures

Is she not so cute in this dress. I bought it and some cute summer sandals the other day. The sandals just barely fit. She loves them anyway. This is what Jana's leg looks like isn't it pretty. Look at those bruises. I think she has like 20 staples. OUCH!
Here is a close up of the staples.
Here is Shelby looking so pretty while we were waiting for Jana to come out of surgery.

Why I'm MIA

Besides the fact that it is finals week. Yesterday morning Jana fell in the front yard going to the car and broke her femur (femer, I'm not really sure how to spell it) bone. We called an ambulance. She had surgery last night at 5, she was put in the ICU to be watched overnight. She is now in a room doing well. She is in a TON of pain and worrying about EVERYTHING. I spent most of the day yesterday in the hospital besides the 2 hours I went to take one of my finals. Came home last night and had trouble going to sleep. I just went to the grocery store with Shelby she is stocked on food for sometime now. It looks like Jana will have to be in the hospital for a extended amount of time and then to a rehab until she can move and function better on her own. The doc really didn't seem to know what was going to happen it is kinda a day by day situation. He did say that it will be a 6-9 month recovery!

Nobody needs to worry I will take care of Shelby, or should I say Shelby will take care of me. I wanted to sleep with her last night.

Oh but the good thing doc said....."she has to stop smoking or the bone will NEVER heal."

reason 23 why I'm not a nurse and Selena is.......Cause I got nausea just watching the ambulance move her from the ground to bed, and there was NO BLOOD. I guess I could just imagine the pain, or maybe it was the onset of stress. Point is I am not in the medical field unless it is with a pharmacy! ha! Even there I get a little nausea.